We recently vacationed to Busch Gardens. Within it is a Sesame Street themed park for younger children. Having two in that age group, I found myself there most of the day. The place was packed. We were pressed (literally) against a fence railing as we watched our daughters go around and around on a Grover ride. A steady stream of people made their way through a walkway directly at our heels. Turning my head in a nonchalant manner, I noticed a little girl appearing to be just out of preschool, skipping along the path behind me. At the same time, a motorized scooter (we call them jazzies) on steroids trailing behind her at Dale Earnhardt class speed. The scooter was on the right side of the path and as far as I could tell it could inch through without hitting the girl. She was to the left of the path.
I blinked and the little girl jolted to the right, heading directly into the path of this race cart. I gasped and lunged in the direction of the child. I was for certain the driver was not paying attention. Since my only focus was on the child, the lead foot behind the wheel was still unknown to me. Nevertheless, my mind was made up. “This child was going to get run over.” Shoulders leaning forward as I took the instinctual step towards the girl, the scooter immediately stopped.
The driver, (now realizing who the driver is) turned her head with an attitude that reminded me of a shirt I’ve seen before. The shirt, with Yoda from Star Wars on it, stated, “The attitude is strong with this one.” Her attitude was indeed strong. “Is there a problem?” she said. It was at that moment, my discovery took place. The driver was fully aware of the little girl. The little girl was her daughter. I began to fumble with my words because I understood that the choosing of my words was crucial. She was skeptical of my intentions. That was clear to see. The last thing I wanted to do was make matters worse.
“Oh, no. I didn’t think you saw the little girl. I was afraid she was going to get hit. I was only trying to help her.”
She pointed towards the child. “Who that kid?” I responded with a head nod. “I saw that kid alright. She’s mine” she stated as she quickly hit the gas on that jazzy and sped off with the pedal to the metal while my mouth laid open in amazement at her response.
You see, my act of kindness was not appreciated. My intention to help was viewed as offensive and she wasn’t the only one offended. I, too, was offended by her response. It resonated with me for days. Often asking myself, “If I’d known her response beforehand, would I have still acted in kindness?” My answer always, “yes.” I had answers to that question but the other looming question I toggled back and forth in my mind was “why?” Why did she respond this way?
After returning home a week later, still processing this tense moment, the Lord brought me to an astounding story in the book of Chronicles I had never read before. In doing this, my heart was softened and my eyes opened to the answer I desperately wanted to understand.
“Then David said, ‘I will show kindness to Hanun the son of Nahash, because his father showed kindness to me.’ So David sent messengers to comfort him concerning his father. And David’s servants came to Hanun in the land of the people of Ammon to comfort him. And the princes of the people of Ammon said to Hanun, ‘Do you think that David really honors your father because he has sent comforters to you? Did his servants not come to you to search and to overthrow and to spy out the land?’” 1 Chronicles 19:2-3 NKJV
King Nahash had died. His son, Hanun succeeded him in death as the new reigning king. David (King of Israel),was friends with King Nahash. However, the king of Israel before David, King Saul, was an enemy to both of them. King Saul plotted David’s murder on numerous occasions. During this same time frame, King Saul and the nation of Israel were enemies with King Nahash and his people. David likely found refuge and kindness from King Nahash during this time. A true friendship between the two had developed as a result.
Upon hearing of King Nahash’s death, King David wanted to act in kindness and send men into their land to comfort them during this sorrowful time. David’s act of kindness was genuine. He had no ulterior motives. Yet, not long after the men arrived, skepticism set in. King Nahash’s people remembered their enemy before, the Israelites. Under King Saul’s ruling, however, having that history brought on thoughts of wonder. Appreciation for their kindness was not shown. If you read on, you’ll find instead of a warm welcome, they shaved half the men’s faces and cut their clothing off from the waist down. It was an insult to the highest degree. They were fearful and skeptical. Their defense mechanism was humiliating David’s men.
In that study, God revealed the lady at Busch Gardens also had a defense mechanism – her attitude. Kindness is crucial, but so is empathy. Kindness and empathy are topics important to address in our culture today. You see, she wasn’t Caucasian like myself. Neither was the little girl. Skin color didn’t matter to me in showing kindness, but to her, based upon her response, I believe it did. A white girl like myself may have hurt her at some point in her life. I don’t know that for certain. But what I do know is she was undoubtedly skeptical of me and my actions. This realization took the anger I felt towards her and her attitude, replacing it with great empathy for her.
The lady at Busch Gardens could have had valid reasons in her skepticism. In reading God’s word, I feel the people under King Hanun had legitimate skepticism of the men David sent. I do wish the lady at Busch Gardens responded more graciously. And I by no means am justifying how the men humiliated David’s people. Still, my actions (to act in kindness) are my responsibility, how they respond is their responsibility.
People’s response to kindness can be intensely disappointing to the one acting it out. The response they have can sometimes even leave you with a bad taste in your mouth. A taste that lingers. Hindering you from showing future kindness in fear of tasting that same bitterness again. Still – I urge you, and as I type I’m also encouraging myself – Act in Kindness. Despite the skepticism, the attitudes, possible humiliation, or feelings of let down – do it anyway. The only way we will ever see change in our culture is if everyone decides to show kindness regardless.
Love you friends,
Erika
