There I stood in my living room completely overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed with the medications sitting on my counter that I was to give her. Also, I was overwhelmed in the amount of clothing, diapers, baby toys, and much more that she came with. Most children in foster care come with only the clothing they are wearing, sometimes just a diaper. The fact that she came with so much told me a lot.
The Folder
Before the worker left my house, he placed a Lisa Frank folder on my kitchen island beside of the medications that I was completely overwhelmed about. Growing up, I loved Lisa Frank so I was initially drawn to this folder. As I opened it up, I found this baby’s entire life’s biography in it, all four months of it.
There were copies of doctor’s progress notes, hospital discharge paper work ( 2 different sets), and loose leaf paper with hand written notes in it. A list of all her current doctors, their addresses and phone numbers. When her last appointment was and when her next appointment for each one was due. I was amazed at the meticulousness of the prior foster mom. In those notes. In those keepsakes. Inside that folder, I saw a foster mom who loved this baby and had to make a very difficult decision to let her go.
Her First Foster Mommy
As I continued flipping through the folder, I saw a hand written letter titled, “Dear New Foster Family.” There was a detailed description of her medical history. How often she ate. How many ounces she ate. What she was allergic too. Every important detail that I needed to know, she stated so perfectly in this letter. At the end she said, “If you have any questions, please call me” and she left her phone number.
As a mom myself, I immediately interpreted that as “Even if you don’t have any questions, just please call me. Let me know she is okay. Let me know she is in good hands.”
So I knew, to give her peace of mind, and to help me piece together everything I do know so far, calling her would be the best option.
The Call
I picked up my phone and began dialing the number listed. When she answered, I stumbled on my words briefly. I was nervous for some reason but nevertheless, I explained who I was and how I felt it was important for us to talk. She immediately thanked me for calling.
For reasons that I am not going to discuss, this foster mom decided that what was best for this baby was for her to go to another home. What I know now is that God had orchestrated this a long time before and that there is no coincidence in her wanting to have this baby moved. It was all part of a bigger plan.
In the foster care world, you can put in a request to have a child moved to a different home. You generally have to give a ten day notice and within ten to fourteen days, the child is moved to a new foster home. What she told me is that she had requested a month prior. She had been told they had a new home for her a month before. If you remember, we did not re-open to take children until the day before we got her.
Of course my mind was blown – more confirmation – 100% God on that one.
Her Story
This foster mom had been there for it all. The good, the bad, the ugly. Ironically enough, which I know now as not ironic at all, again God, she is a nurse too. So, in typical nurse fashion, we started talking medical jargon about this baby’s history quickly after the call started.
She proceeded to basically give me “report” on this baby.
- She was born with coartation of the aorta and was flown to another hospital to have surgery to repair it after birth.
- She was also born with neonatal abstinence syndrome (her mother did drugs while pregnant)
- Upon discharge from that hospital, she was placed into the foster care system and went home with this foster momma.
- She also was born with mitral valve regurgitation and stenosis. In addition to that, she had 3 ventricular septal defects (tiny holes in the heart)- They were “watching” all of these and the plan on discharge was for her next surgery to be around her first birthday.
- At about 5 weeks old, she started to get a runny nose and cough. Not long after, she was unresponsive and this foster momma had to perform resuscitation on her at home while EMS came. (They live in a rural area too so EMS does not quickly respond)
- She was transported to local children’s hospital and placed on the ventilator. The doctor’s called in the family and her prognosis was extremely poor. (Children with congenital valve issues and VSD’s can be hard to oxygenate. This was her problem.)
- She tested positive for RSV and the picornavirus. Both are dangerous in babies this young but especially a heart baby.
- They decided to fly her Pittsburgh Children’s Hospital. There she spent her first Christmas on the ventilator. They did not expect her to live here either but day by day, she proved them wrong.
- She was discharged mid- January from Pittsburgh and went back home to her first foster mommy.
God Has Big Plans
After she gave me a complete play by play on the events that took place in her short time here on earth, we said our goodbyes, and I hung up the phone. I immediately went over to pick her up and hold her. When I did, I could not believe how little she was, what all her tiny body had been through, and that now I am responsible for maintaining her tiny frame. I wasn’t sure how much she weighed but I was positive she was about the size of my biological children at birth. There was no way she was over ten pounds. No way. Four months old (4 days shy of five months old) and less than ten pounds, imagine that?
As I held her and kissed her forehead, tears streamed down my face. I was not in love with this baby yet. I hoped to have a love for her like the love I have for my biological children. Nevertheless, through her story I had just been told, there was an immediate love that I did not expect to have.
God could have easily taken her out of this world. Not many people would have cared if He did. I know that sounds terribly sad but it’s terribly true. My life would have never changed. I never knew her before this day. Life for the Bailey’s would have not skipped a beat.
As I held her that day, I was thankful He didn’t ( I’m still thankful He didn’t). I knew right then and there, that story of her first four months of life, was only part of her story. He has great big plans for this tiny warrior. Her story was just beginning. I prayed He would give me the privilege to have a front row seat to watch it unfold.
Love you friends.
