I finally took the plunge and opened our home up with the foster care agency. We were still coming up empty on the house search. So, as you know, not how I had envisioned all of this. Nonetheless, we were open so now in my normal, impatient fashion…..
Don’t Care how, I want a child NOW!
Cue the song from Willie Wonka….
Foster Care Placements
In foster care you can be specific as far as what age of a child you are willing to foster. If you want sibling sets or not. The goal is for the placement you receive to work for your family. We decided best for us was under 3 and only 1 child.
Receiving Calls
We opened in June 2017. We received about 1-2 calls a week for sibling sets or children older than 3.
In July, we were in Mississippi for vacation and received a call for a 2 year old little boy. My heart began to race.
I said,
“YES……. but we are on vacation so could he go to respite a couple of days until we get home?”
Respite is a short term foster home, kinda like a babysitter. They told me they needed someone today and unless we were willing to leave our vacation, they would find another home.
Nevertheless, I was bummed. This was the first call that was a match for us.
A Window of Opportunity – August 2017
We ran to Walmart for some last minute, spur of the moment school supplies we didn’t have. I ran into a friend whom I hadn’t seen in awhile. We stood outside of Walmart and chatted. She told me that she was now working as a CPS worker. Sadly, the wheels in my mind began to turn.
I immediately let her know I was open and ready for a sweet baby. I told her the agency I was with and to keep me in mind.
The very next day, she texts me with a placement.
Within a couple of hours, she handed me a 4 month old caramel skinned baby girl. She was beautiful and I was in love.
My friend was in training so another CPS worker was with her. This was all new to us so we listened intently on what he told us and we took it as the gospel. Our hearts were so excited. This baby would more than likely be ours. This is EXACTLY what we had been praying for!
I Got a Call
Fast forward 24 hours later and I get the call that, this baby is being moved. “The gospel” we had been told was far from it. This baby had been with another foster family after birth who loved her and were anticipating her return.
To say I was heartbroken was an understatement. Not that I had already fallen completely in love, I hadn’t yet, but the fact that I had been lied to hurt the most. My agency who I felt I should be able to trust betrayed me. I was confused, sad, and angry.
Why God?
About a week passed, and we placed her in the back of the case workers car to return to her loving foster home. My kids were there when she left. Although it was only a week, we all cried as she drove off.
I felt bitter.
I wrestled with God for days after and would think,
“I don’t get you, God?”
Deep in my soul, it hit me. That voice, not audible but oh, so clear.
“This was not Me. This was you. You got involved. You took this into your own hands. You made a mess of this.”
The tears fell.
This was all my doing. The sadness in my heart. The sadness in my kids heart. The bitterness I felt.
IT WAS ALL MY FAULT!
So What Now?
We start over. I went to the agency’s office, I closed our home, and requested a copy of our file. I walked out no longer a foster parent, back to square one, but with a lesson learned.
The Lesson Learned: Pray over the small stuff and get out of God's way.
I never prayed over what agency to go with. Sadly, this agency did not have our backs when I felt as though they should have. Trust is HUGE in the foster care world. I knew if we were to continue on the journey God had set before us, we needed to start back at square one and go about it His way from the start. So we did.
God knew I would not learn until I completely screwed it up. It’s how I roll. Nevertheless, when the timing was right, He allowed it all to crumble down in order to get me to a place of surrender which was where I should have been all along.
Thankfully, being the loving Father that He is, He pulled me back up with a new perspective, a huge lesson learned, and new direction in sight.
Take Two……
Love you friends
