I’ve been there. I have been that mom who’s toddler pulls a complete jerk move and as badly as I want to correct the behavior, I cannot help myself from laughing or thinking that it’s cute. I get it. I truly do. Nevertheless, what I’m seeing first hand are those cute and funny toddler tricks, are now, cruel and mean teen/tween tricks. Yet still, no discipline or accountability.
What I am finding are preteens and teens bearing spoiled fruit as a result of their behavior being found cute for far too long. This is hard thing to parent against.
My Prayer
I pray about this often in regards to my children. I do not expect perfection from them. I know my kids will fail. I know they will say things that they should not and do things that they should not. However, we will hold them accountable for their actions and hold them to an expectation of what God’s word says. (If I ever fail to do this, refer me back to this blog )
Fruits of the Spirit
Galatians 5:22-23 KJV ” But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.”
None of us are experts at bearing fruits of the Spirit 24/7. Nonetheless, through the power of the Holy Spirit we can be these things and allow the fruit we bear to be a sweet treat to those around us.
Isn’t that what any parent would want from their children?
Be The Parent
1. Parent by Example
We can tell our kids to be fruits of the Spirit, yet if all they see from us is the opposite, how can they learn? Your actions speak louder than words. But, your words are important too. If they hear you gossiping about everyone and their brother, guess what, they will be gossiping one day too.
I fail at this daily. I do.
What I try to do though, is let my kids know when I’ve failed. I acknowledge to them that, “I should not have said that” or “I am sorry that I acted out the way that I did. What I did was wrong.” We have to show our children that we are not perfect, however, we should all strive to be the best we can be through the power of Jesus in us.
2. Hold them Accountable
Your kid’s behavior needs accountability way before the ripe age of 13. If you wake up one morning and decide you are going to start holding them accountable because their teenage behavior is out of control, you my friend are too late. I’m not saying don’t go ahead and give it a shot but….”may the force be with you.” When they act rotten, regardless of age, it’s not a behavior we should blow off. I understand it happens. Consequently, if there is no punishment for rotten fruit they bear, I will promise you that fruit will stay rotten and by the teenage years, it will plum stink.
This is why we have a sick epidemic of bullying. The parenting, or lack there of, is to blame and it needs to stop now.
3. You are Not Their Friend
Stop going out of your way to give them whatever they want because you don’t want them upset with you. It’s okay if your children don’t like you for a moment. They will get over it. You are the parent. You are not their friend.
4. Don’t Make Excuses
If someone comes to you and tells you that your child said something bad or did something that was terrible. Please don’t immediately defend them before you know the facts. ALL of our kids, no matter the home they come from, can do or say STUPID things. Don’t think, “Not my kid!” That will be your first mistake.
Discernment
“Teach me good discernment and knowledge for I believe in Your commandments.”
Psalms 119:66 (NASB)
Pray for discernment. Some of us are better at this naturally than others but nonetheless, we all need to pray for this. Pray God will allow you to discern if your child is being truthful.
If they are, fine. I know it’s not always your child’s fault.
Nonetheless, if they are lying and you know it, PUNISH THEM!
There is no greater lesson than making them give a public apology. Sadly, this is a lost art. I have made my kids do this and probably will have to make them do it again before I’m done raising them. A little humble pie is good for the soul ya’ll.
Moral of the Story
Be the parent. Lead by example. Don’t be their pal and for the love of all things holy, stop making excuses! Hold them accountable. Make it known early in their life that your expectation is that of what God’s word says, they must bear fruit of the Spirit. Spoiled fruit is not beneficial for anyone!
Love you friends
